“Sometimes you need to see life out of order…”
My office is usually in chaos. I have art supplies, books, receipts and papers everywhere.
In a way the mess allows me to make connections that I couldn’t make if everything was up on a shelf. Sometimes you need to see life out of order to find a new way of doing things.
I didn’t think I’d end up back here. This is the house I grew up in.
I wanted to be a magazine editor. I thought I’d be living in a big city, being fancy all the time. But after school the recession hit. And my advisor said basically, “You should go to grad school because there are no jobs.”
But I didn’t want to have more debt, so I took a year off and moved back into my parent’s house. Which was actually pretty good. It gets a bad rap, but it could have been worse.
And then we got Murphy.
I don’t think I’ll ever know what being a new parent is until I am one, maybe. But I felt like, “Whoa. Now I get it. It’s so hard.” He’s definitely a sensitive soul. We had his crate, we set up his little room for him like you’re supposed to. But he would act like, “It’s so lonely out here,” and now he sleeps under the covers like a human.
I was resistant, but slowly over time he melted me down.
We had a lot of dogs growing up, but getting a puppy — I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I thought she wanted a dog really bad. And then, she thought I wanted a dog really bad. But we were both not ready internally.
The day we went to adopt, we were looking at him and thinking, “Maybe we can wait.” And then some other couple picked him up and we suddenly felt, “No. That’s our dog.” They put him down and walked off and we said, “We’re getting him.”
Shortly after, we realized how much of a mistake we made. I’m joking, but honestly he probably knew our limits before we did. Just like a child, they start testing you, probably. If he whines at all, I melt. You can’t just give him what he wants everytime he wants it. I know.
It’s helped us realize we had a lot of room to grow. That our communication needed to get better. It turned out to be one of the best things we ever did.
Beyond the Glass
MOMENTS WITH JUDE
This thing that I love so much has given me more trouble than anything in my whole life, but it is teaching me every day to trust other people.
I’m in a season of waiting. Doing nothing is also doing something. It’s a position of openness. We don’t like being in that space because there’s uncertainty. But that is where art happens.
It’s not just alcohol that needs moderation. We need moderation in life. We go through life drunk on the next high, whatever that is. Even relationships. There’s a beauty in balance that I think gets lost…
I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Taken it down too far with the axe. Sometimes, you need to fail. If not, you aren’t trying hard enough. That’s what the woodfire pile is for.
The world is always changing. There is a gift of providence in that. A preciousness, and a sense of hope. That every day will close and begin anew…